Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
