I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
