3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
