Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
