Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
