Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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