so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
