I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
