i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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