The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
