This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
