just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
