My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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