I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
