I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
