Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
