who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
