somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
