apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
