you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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