He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize