you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
