you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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