ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
