i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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