Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
