Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
