You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
