i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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