Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
