I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dick very happy bro
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
