Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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