The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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