bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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