I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we should paint friendship bongs
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