No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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