She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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