you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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