You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
