There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
