I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
as a side note pls kill me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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