need another drink. this is the easiest way
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
