If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
