I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize