On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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