She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
