Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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