Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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