I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
