I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
