YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize