it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
