I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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