so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
they're like a gay fantastic four
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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