Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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