You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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