I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
