That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ok first of all what the fuck
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
