some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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