pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I will be naked everywhere
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
